I AM A GIRL CYOBORG PET Page 6
After the nasty trick she pulled after escape class, we had decided that 89-33 was not on our friend list.
"56-42 has just increased in value to 305
"13-27 has just reached a new price of 63
"Hey, do you think that getting friends increases your price?" asked Joe.
It didn't matter if it was true. SlaveNet was what people called it and pretty soon all the newbies were going round friending each other like crazy. 89-33 overtook me on the board, and so we set out to friend people just to boost our bid price. Yes, stupid I know, but I am stupidly competitive sometimes.2
***
So over the next week I found myself walking along the corridor past someone I only vaguely knew and my collar would say, "It's 17-25's birthday today: why not say 'Happy 25th Birthday',
So in the busy weeks following, I found my self running on autopilot or 'Cortona pilot' between lessons. I used my time to think about who was setting such a high price on me: what did they like about me? What were they thinking? What did they want with me?
The problem was, that with the collar following your social network, it made it possible to have more friends than you could manage on your own. I found my thoughts were being drowned out by a stream of comments from my collar.
"Oh dear, 43-21 was just punished for Rule 7 violation,
I also found myself dependant upon doing what the collar told me to, just to keep from being rude to anyone. Occasionally I would get hugged by someone saying, "Having you here makes it all bearable." When I asked them why they had done that, the stranger would usually confess they had been told to by their collar. My collar also tried to get me to love bomb my fellow inmates, but I resisted.8
***
Chapter 12/Taking a break
A/N This started from a discussion of how you never see people eat or stopping to go to the loo in science fiction. I mean what does the Hulk do? We thought it was time to redress the balance! This also partly happened (to someone we know). They were in Korea phoning home asking how to operate loo ( it was in a hotel and the operating instructions in Korean) who says life doesn't make the best comedy ?13
Is this too much why not comment and say?
Factory Toilets 8G (Mixed Gender)
Jenny's POV3
I was sitting on the toilet thinking, trying to recall the Terms and Conditions, like an epic poem, when some newbie walked in. The robots didn't exactly approve of privacy on the toilet. The cubicles came roughly up waist-height when you're sitting. Everyone had to sit: Joe hated it.
"Excuse me," said the girl, "Do you know where the toilet paper is?"
"Our robot overlords don't approve of toilet paper. I think they find our whole plumbing system deeply repulsive. Is this your first time ?" She nodded. "Unfortunately all the instructions and controls are in Japanese. Don't worry I'll walk you through it. What's your name?"2
"93-21. how do I get out of my..."
"You don't, it's printed on; just undo the very big front to back zip."
"This is gross," said 93-21.
"It gets worse. Sit down but don't go. Use the diagrams to select front or back. Press that triangular button near the bottom left."
"The one next to the square?" said 93-21
"No that's the seat temperature control," I said
"The blue one? Look I really need to go."
"Don't worry, not the blue one, the one below the direction controls."
"okay, I got it."
"That asks permission to go. It will take a couple of seconds, then you should get permission. Don't, don't, whatever you do, go before then, otherwise you will get a lightning bolt!"
"I have to ask permission? This is really bad," moaned the girl. I wondered if I should tell her that sometimes the permission system was overloaded and you had to hang on for a minutes before it got back to you.
9
"The robots really managed to take all the fun out of slavery. I will never forgive them for that. That and the complete loss of autonomy, liberty and the relentless use of punishment, but mostly the fact they really managed to it without any style or sense of humour. That really did it for me," I said. 93-21 laughed.
"I guess they are just taking the p**s. Oh. My collar said I have permission. What's that weird tingling music?" I laughed at her joke.4
"Don't worry about it, just go," I said.
From where I sat, it sounded like she had been holding on for a while.
"Now it gets complicated. You see that button that looks like some kind of house? Third row, fourth column," I started.
"OK!" she said.
"Press that and hold still."
"Oh this is gross. A pressure washer for your undercarriage," said 93-21 squirming.
"You get used to it. You can control the temperature with the 'arrows'. the 'wave' controls oscillation or pulsation. The blue and red buttons control the dryer," I said before I heard a hand-dryer noise start. 93-21 shrieked.
"The other stages are automatic. Don't move. So you new huh?" I said deliberately distracting her.
"They caught me me a couple weeks ago, out near Austin." She talked for a couple more minutes, but I had a whole bunch of status-updates streaming through my collar, and didn't pay attention.1
I managed to tune back in on "Do you have any good bits of advice?"
"If you are caught doing something and are given the option of going to detention or being experimented on, take it: being experimented on looks good on your profile; being in detention doesn't. During an experiment, they strap you to a chair and show you coloured displays, play weird sounds and you get electrocuted every so often," I lectured.
"What's detention like?" She asked
"They strap you to a chair. The machine phones up someone, at random, in one of the Controlled Sectors. If they answer, you have to ask them to do a Newly Subjugated Slave Satisfaction Survey. If they put the phone down, you get an electric shock. You have to get 100 surveys done completely before you're let out of detention. I think they do it to remind you how awful it is outside the Factory."1
"Sounds delightful!"
"I'm Jenny. 56-42. I should friend you on SlaveNet" I said. I was her second SlaveNet friend.
93-21 left, but I forgot to ask her real name. I realised that I had got to the position when I was saying things like 'you get used to it' to people all the time. But I shouldn't get used to it. This is their world, not my world. I refuse to get used to it. Then my collar said,
"You have permission for forward liquid disposal." Followed by that tinkly music. Bliss. You know, IF, no WHEN, we overthrow the machines and get things back together again, I'm going to get one of these toilet seats, I promised myself. I mean you shouldn't just crap, rub yourself with dry paper and think you're clean, that's disgusting.
7
*********
Chapter 13/Friends
I was quite over dinner, the machines had given us crispy vegetable pakoras and Indian Eggplant - Bhurtha. They kept feeding us different, healthy, meat-free crap. Kalya said she hadn't seen a pizza in three months. OK, what they fed us was very tasty, but you kept having to try different types of food all the time. I would killed for a loaf of soft white bread. Strange what you miss...11
I had sneaked behind the kitchen doors, looking for weaknesses in the perimeter. I saw the red line on the floor and my collar had given me my first warning. While I was there, I glimpsed all the food printing machines churning away. They could cook anything and we all got the same thing every day. The machines didn't trust humans even to cook for ourselves, we were that surplus to requirements. I looked up from the three ring binder, reading the Terms and Conditions I was trying to memorise.
"Well, this food
is lean and fat free," said Kayla.
"So is a tyre but I wouldn't eat that," said Joe, "what day of the week is it?"
"The robots don't have days of the week, " said Kayla.
"So we don't get a break? Ever? Man!" said Joe.1
"Do you remember that day we spent in class looking at videos of people running backwards and forwards?" asked Kayla. Joe and I nodded. "That was the robot attempting to do something 'slave-relaxing', like watching The Super Bowl. I don't think they have understood the subtleties of human sports yet.".
"What? I thought it was some kind of new torture punishment being demo-ed," I said.
"Class," added Joe.
"I'm angry at myself," I told Joe and Kayla, eating another mouthful. "The machines have taken over once already, but now I was letting them run my social life too. I know where this leads, but I'm still falling into the same trap. I'm trying to do too much and I'm giving control of my life over to them, again, to keep up with it," I explained.5
"Do you think they are trying to help us? I mean... yes... like you said, it's controlling, but do you think their motives are evil or are they trying to be helpful and just getting it wrong?" Joe wondered.
"Well, given the past 20 years of computing from Silicon Valley, I think they are trying to be helpful. Just kcufing it up, like Uber," said Kayla. "I'm with you. I rely on the collar so much now, I can't remember people's names. I mean their real names. You see 80-80 over there, his name was David or Damien or something. Naturally the collar doesn't let me keep that bit of useful information about him, so I've forgotten. Now I'm just too embarrassed to ask."
"God, '66, you're right! It's like not remembering your own phone number all over again," said Joe. Kayla and I stopped and stared at him crossly.1
"Did I say '66? Sorry. Kayla. I meant Kayla," said Joe apologetically.
"Look, from now on I'm just going to look after my friends. My real friends - you guys. Together, we'll work this out," I said. Then I grabbed my three ring binder, to leave.+
"Hi '42!" said 17-50, passing through the classroom door.2
"Hi 17-50! Congratulations on passing the 100 bitcoin barrier," I said, after Cortona suggested it, then I cursed myself for my own weakness.8
*****
Chapter 14/Slave Machines
I came in a little late from class to find Joe and Kayla sitting up to their necks in the exercise machines. We had organised to meet at the rows of gym machines near the dormitory. The gym machine took control of your body and somehow gave you a two hour work out in about 10 minutes. I was glad these hadn't been launched before the war, putting huge numbers of personal trainers out of a job. I could have imagined the streets full of sad Body Builders pan handling, or with signs saying 'will work for protein powder'. The notion of hoards of aerobicise instructors in Cotton Spandex Jersey bodysuits roaming the streets in gangs, pouncing on unsuspecting members of the public and getting them to do 20 minutes of aerobics and taking their money before the police came was more terrifying.17
The men's machine's gave them the ripped, muscled abs and the kind of Olympian look that the robots liked. Unfortunately, Joe got the girls' settings. I had been confined inside one as I was being shipped by train from the West Coast, while I recovered unconsciously from all that cosmetic surgery. It had reshaped my body to match the kind of comic book fantasy that the robots had imposed on humans. I propped up my three ring binder so I could look at Page 8 of Terms and Conditions and memorise it while sitting in the exersise machine. 5
"Oh come on Kayla, make out with me!" pleaded Joe.
"No way," said Kayla.
"Why not?"
"Look in your binder. Rule 17: relations between slaves is forbidden without a direct order from our mutual masters"2
"No, that's what I thought. Then I saw 18 and 19 in the bunks."
" Kissing class home work my a$$." Kayla said.
"I was looking in the binder. It's only forbidden between slaves of the opposite sex. The new machine order has me down as a girl, so technically it's OK. So you see, if you help me, then in a way you're helping to overthrow the machine's rule. If they see us make out, it will overcome their logic circuits and they will melt down. Ask your collar, if you don't believe me," said Joe. The collars had a kind of verbal Google search, that's assuming that Google were to have had a 'Slave Safe Mode' search setting. It could be useful, but most of the time your collar told you that your search was restricted. I smiled and Joe, noticing, said, "Jenny, you'll 'do' me."1
I got into the exercise machine and closed the door. It was a bit like getting into a washing machine. My collar was docked in and I got that strange out of body feeling as the exercise machine kicked in. I wouldn't be moving for 10 minutes; it was like I didn't have a body.
"No I won't quote do you unquote, Rule 17. Plus, you look way better in this make up than I do." I said, "It would feel all wrong, it would be like making out with Kayla," I shuddered.
"Yes, good idea!" said Joe.
"No," we both said sharply and loudly.
"Please! I can't believe it, I've lost so much weight, I'm washing every day, lost the beard and I still can't get a girl! Gods of Programming, why do you torment me so? Did I not place every semicolon in its correction position?" Joe added. It was hard to be sure when Joe was joking. I felt for him, I don't know what they were doing to him but he was behaving more like a girl than I was. He really felt like a GBF by now; he even came to the girl's loos with us and sat down.10
"Don't worry: another four weeks and we will be sold. I'm sure the machines will have you 'done' every day," said Kayla.
"That reminds me. Good news on that front. I've noticed that you, Kayla and I are all being bid for by the same bidder, #221. On the bad news front he's also 88-33's highest bidder."
"How do you know it's a he?" I asked. I was panting at this stage as the cycle was nearly over.
"Well he's asking for four girls." Joe pointed out.
"Do we know anything about him?" I asked.
"No" said Kayla. Then I had a moment of inspiration. As I stepped out, I pressed the button on my collar.
"Cortona, who is bidder #221?"
"Bidder #221 is Lord Rockwood,
"Who is Lord Rockwood?" asked Joe.
"That is restricted
Then 88-33 walked in.
"Living proof that if you put lipstick on a pig you still have a pig but no lipstick," 88-33 said to Joe. Joe burst into tears and Kayla comforted him.15
"Why do you have to say sh1t like that?" I shouted, as 88-33 put her face into the makeup printer for a touch-up.
"I'm just saying what my collar tells me," 88-33 quipped back, "go on, take it like a man," she added to Joe as she flounced out.
"Collar my a$$," I thought.
Rule 19 was no physical fighting between slaves with out a direct order from their master(s). It had been carefully explained that this was a violation of the mighty Rule 3: Self Maintenance. The punishment for Rule 19 was painful. Very painful. The collars had a way of detecting people moving in a fight. So within seconds, you could see people go from shouting and punching to rolling around on the floor in pain. Sometimes the robot guards would even drag people away. If you touched and damaged 'the goods', that meant detention.2
"Have you ever noticed," I began, after 88-33 was out of earshot, "that 88-33 is almost always one of the first to give in. The first to come out with comments in class like, 'I'm sure sucking it isn't that bad.' or 'Well, to be honest, I would like to, at least, try... I mean I might enjoy it'." We all got the message and tried to cover up my unintended speaking of the real thing.
"But then so are you, Kayla," I said smiling. I gave a slight head-movement, as an indicator that we were being watched, "you're always the second to say that you would do the most wicked of acts."
"Well, OK. I've got a bit of a wild side. Am I really that bad for admitting it?" Kayla said, almost winking at me. Kayla was right though, 88-33 always subtl
y led the succumbing to the machines' point of view. Some of the other times, people guessed responses or just tried to say something that they thought would please the machines, but you always got the impression that 88-33 was actually trying to lead opinion. Perhaps she was a Benedict Arnold, like a traitor or secret police trying to influence the rest of us.
"She'll do the most wicked of things but not to me! I think I'm going to die!" said Joe.4
"OK" said Kayla "I was asked by 11-01 to be partners in the Kissing for Beginners class tomorrow. I'll tell him no and partner up with you, but NO home work, you got me?"+
"YES!!" said Joe, "Success!"
***
Chapter 15/People who liked...
You might feel I'm getting a bit obsessed with my collar at this point but if you had something explosive round your neck and it was the last thing you heard at night and the first thing you heard in the morning, you would find it quite an intimate technology. We e-slaves went on about our smart collars all the time. 2
Along with becoming hopelessly dependent on my collar, the thing I found most annoying was that it started to try to anticipate, and recommend, what I wanted to do. At lunch it would say, "People who had the Broccoli and Artichoke Bake also had 40ml of Orange Juice,
Like my former step-father,if I ignored it I found that my collar started to get irritated with me. For example, Joe discovered that collars could play music to you, out of hours. Our Machine Overlords had decided to rip all music ever made and let the slaves listen to it for free. That's right: they stole all of humanity's music for themselves: no respect for intellectual property! These machines were really evil: I have mentioned that right? The downside was that the machines had decided that all tracks would last exactly 3 minutes. If a track was longer, it just stopped, and if it was shorter it would be filled with white noise. They had also edited out any song that they thought inappropriate for an e-slave. If you asked for something vaguely patriotic like, God Bless America, or anything similar, all you got was three minutes of a baby crying loudly in your ears, which really set my nerves on edge.